She is abused.
She is used.
So she flys.
Opens her eyes-
to love
to passion
to herself.
What she finds.
Is new minds-
new hearts
new freedom
a new life.
It begins.
Faster than it ends.
Her love dies.
So did she, inside.
Her last breath.
Is to see death-
of her family
of her baby
of her friends.
Plans are set.
Make no regrets.
Look into their eyes.
And watch them die.
Peel the layers of skin underneath.
Remove the vital organs inside.
Dissect each vein to paper thin.
Pry the atriums of my beating heart.
But you’ll never know what it carries.
No matter how many times you try.
Not even a knife can speak.
I’ve fallen so far down.
Nose flat on the ground.
There’s a point of no return.
But change, I must earn.
Nothing worth having
come without craving.
All these things I urn for.
Come if I turn the door.
For I cannot reach the keys.
To unlock this holds’ tease.
All the steps I must take.
I have no effort to make.
I am pathetic, I am alone.
These things I wish I’d known.
But one day I will turn around.
Unlock my heart unbound.
With the keys in my grasp.
I choose to forget the past.
This passion rages inside.
Freedom from the tide.
There’s nothing in this world.
Not a word. Not a soul.
There’s something in the rural.
Before it takes it’s toll.
A dream that burns the fire.
Clouds of smoke. Melts by rain.
My heart fills with desire.
Flames extinguish the pain.
Soaring through the sky.
Like a bird. Like the wind.
Awake, my love there lie.
Past gone away, the new begin.
The future will come.
Just wait. Just watch.
Forgetting where I’m from.
Onward I will march.
I’ll leave this town.
Dream on. Bring it on.
I will not back down.
Not until I’ve won.
I will succeed.
I will leave.
Cut the ties.
Goodbye.
Watch me melt into mother earth. Sink into the roots of civilization. And fade into drifts of wind carrying the seeds filled with wisdom. Passed on to new generations to come. Absorbed into the youth of enlightenment, but forgotten by the ignorance of life.
In elementary,
we chased each other around,
shouting “tag” on the playground.
In junior high,
we had sleepovers,
then talked about boys.
In high school,
we got sober enough,
just to get drunk once again.
In college,
we shared love with best friends,
and studied away our youth together.
In the real world,
we talk about once a month,
and make plans that typically fall through.
Candies and lollipops,
turned to cocaine and cigarettes.
Hot chocolate and movies,
turned into coffee and complaints.
Crushes and kisses,
turned into getting fucked
then getting fucked over.
Funny how all we wanted was to grow up,
now we never want to get old.
Gasping for air, as the tears begin to fall.
Arch the spine, while every hair stands tall.
Goosebumps arise, curling knees to head.
Screaming inside, whispers come out instead.
Grab the blade, hard to see with damped eyes.
Make no regrets, lift skin to knife.
Cut out the frustration, anger, and sadness.
Bleed out the mistakes, toxins, and loneliness.
Wrists burn, body begins to become numb.
Fall deep asleep, until out comes the sun.
